I Want To Be The Girl With The Most Cake

love him so much it just turns to hate

fake it so real i am beyond fake

someday you will ache like i ache

--hole

Before batter meant that doughy combination of ingredients that magically beckons to one's weary senses from the kitchen when dribbled into tins and put to bed in the oven to awake a beautiful cake for some love's birthday, it meant to "beat continuously and violently so as to bruise or shatter" since sometime around 1377. The OED notes another usage of batter that emerged a few years later yet remains rare and obsolete: to beat out metal. In the 16th century, batter became something of a military term. Indeed, the mixture that denotes the substance of our birthday cakes since the 15th century calls for just a teaspoon of violence to help the medicine go down; we're thus all "Doll Parts."